Breaking the Cycle: Parenting for the Future with Emily Miotto 🌀

Business as UNusual Ep 14 - Season 3 Transcript

Aicila [00:00:00]:

Welcome to business as unusual. I am delighted today to present Emily Miyoto and her business. Well, I should I talk about it? What do we wanna do here? Because Emily is doing some really interesting things around parenting and breaking the cycle, which I don't think anyone would disagree with that's needed. So thank you for being here, Emily, and I'm really excited to dig into what you're up to. So I think it's very important. And thank you so

Emily [00:00:28]:

much for having me on the show as well. And like you said, it is so important to have these conversations to make these shifts in our parenting style because these children that are coming in now, they are so connected. Intuitive. They are so divine. And now is the time for us as parents, especially moms, because we spend majority of our time with our kids. We have that sacred bond with them for us to be the cycle breakers for the pain, the trauma, those limiting beliefs that we picked up from our parents, our grandparents society. So these newborn children can truly be their most authentic self and help with this shift in collective consciousness. So I'm so happy to be on the show and to be talking about this and to be sharing this wisdom to hopefully, you know, awaken something in moms that they'll want to do this for their kids.

Emily [00:01:27]:

Yeah.

Aicila [00:01:30]:

So one of the questions I like to ask, it's a little roundabout because it's hard to actually get at what I'm talking about sometimes, which is, like, you're not alone. I honestly don't know very many people that one of their first goals as a parent is to not do something their parents did, if not everything. Right? And yet not everybody goes from there to the depth of training that you've done. So what was the spark to action in that? Like, as as opposed to the identity piece, which, of course, is important, but the thing that made it something that you felt called to actually do as opposed to identify, like, this doesn't work, and that's not my work to engage it.

Emily [00:02:11]:

Well, originally, I was I'm a theta healing practitioner and instructor, and if you don't know what that is, you know, majority of the world does not. And it's a energy healing modality where you work with the subconscious mind in that altered brainwave state to reprogram beliefs that were primarily picked up between the ages of 0 7 along those with other things as well. But I had started doing this work on myself, and then I became a practitioner. And more and more with the clients that I had, the work I did on myself, I noticed how many beliefs I was picking up from my parents, how how they raised me was shaping how I saw the world, how I brought in money, how I saw relationships. And when I got pregnant, I said to myself, I'm going to do all the healing possible before she comes in order to, you know, make sure that, she doesn't have that. I have to be a good girl. Right? Or the people pleasing complex or feeling like money has to be something that you have to work hard for. And so I did so much work when I was pregnant.

Emily [00:03:16]:

I was like, I got this in the bag, like, I did so much healing. And then my daughter came, and let me tell you, I went down the rabbit hole of postpartum depression because all of the fears, the limiting beliefs, the lack of control that I had was brought right to my face with my daughter. And I realized, you know what? Being a mother is truly an initiation process. It is like the biggest spiritual awakening ever that I have been through. And I know I'm not alone. I know so many moms go through the same thing and they struggle with the frustration, the anger, because deep down their own inner child is being threatened because of what their parents did to them. And it doesn't have to be something super traumatic, doesn't have to be abuse or anything. It's just how they were raised, how they felt safe.

Emily [00:04:07]:

And so I kept getting a message. I'm going through this because I need to help other moms. And so I shifted my business into now focusing on helping moms to break that cycle, helping to raise their kids with the empowerment, the self love, the self esteem that a lot of past generations just didn't have because we were unaware of it. And now here I am months later with, like you said, my own podcast and my growing business of mamas who are just ready to be that cycle breaker and to help raise these children to be intuitive and truly connected to the energy around them.

Aicila [00:04:52]:

Now, I think one of the things that you said that I thought often is, like, we have a lot of collective learning. And so the things that I was raised with or you were raised with, even if they were the best practices of the time, might still have been damaging. Like you said, it doesn't have to be abuse. It's simply that, you know, we're ignorant, and I think that can be hard sometimes to face, like, wow, I was ignorant. Yay. Yeah. And it's also, I think, liberating to realize that we are collectively learning. And, you know, it's funny.

Aicila [00:05:35]:

I'm gen x, and I love TikTok, and there was this gen x there who was like, yeah. You get mad at how we raised our kids, but there's 2 things. 1, we wanted to give them what we never had, attention. And 2, the ways that we were raised are pretty much illegal now. And I was like, Oh, yeah, that's true. And it's collective learning. And so that collective learning, that collective experience can lead us to this opportunity to break the cycle, and I love that. It sounds very nurturing to me, which I appreciate.

Aicila [00:06:06]:

I think moms get a lot of blame and blame and shame.

Emily [00:06:08]:

And, yeah, there's so many practices that even now I will not do with my daughter, even though my parents did it with me. And they'll look at me thinking, well, you grew up fine. And that's just the line that a lot of past generations use. Right? You grew up fine. Nothing wrong with you, so you can do it with your kid. But what we don't realize and what a lot of people don't realize is that, well, now this version of me as an adult is having to reprogram to dismantle all of that work that was done because I was fine when really now we have the knowledge, the awareness to support that primal age between 0 7, where all children are doing is instilling beliefs. They're just absorbing everything. And now that we know that we can do everything possible to support them, to support their root chakra development, to support them feeling safe, seen, heard, and worthy of love.

Aicila [00:07:12]:

Now that sounds really powerful and definitely very much needed, the way that we structure parenting. I feel like one of the things that I saw a lot when my kids were younger was a divide between folks who sort of felt like they owned their kids and owned their time, and folks that felt like they were sort of stewards of this small learning being. And I feel like there's some of that is residual, honestly. I think that there was a the old practices are more about that owning piece. And I see it in adults. Right? Like, if you grow up with someone owning your time, you then think you own everybody else's time, and it leads to a lot of, like, dysfunctional behavior. So Mhmm. Yeah.

Aicila [00:07:59]:

You're nodding. So does there do you feel like that is something you see, or are there or do you feel like there's a general shift towards more of that mutual respect or something else entirely since you're more in it?

Emily [00:08:13]:

So the clients that I've worked with, they like you have mentioned, they've come from a place where their parents instill these beliefs unconsciously, probably because their parents instilled it on them. And they're ready to make that shift because they're aware that they are unhappy. They're unhappy maybe with their parenting style. They're unhappy with their own lifestyle, their financial situation, their business, whatever it could be. But it really does take an individual to want to make that shift in order for there to be that desire to help end that cycle of trauma beliefs and wounds. A lot of people are making that shift because the collective consciousness energy is shifting. Right? We're all seeing that. Hey, we got to do work on ourselves.

Emily [00:09:10]:

Right? We are the creators of our own reality, and spirituality has become a massive thing in our world right now because everybody's waking up to the realization that we are all one, we are all connected, we are all in this together, and we have the responsibility to heal ourselves. And so as moms, when we can become aware of that, and a lot of my clients are, yeah, there's a lot of them who want to say, I'm done with this old way of living. I'm done with passing down those beliefs. I'm done with, you know, needing control over my kids because how common is that? Right. Like you said, we feel like we have mastery over our kids when really we are their mentors. Right. And if we can shift even that, we are helping them to learn their own way. We are not parenting.

Emily [00:10:01]:

And this is where there's a difference of if we're parenting through playing through playing, if we're parenting through pain or if we're parenting through presence. Right. When we become aware of, okay, how am I going to react to the situation? Am I reacting through how my parents did something to me? And so now I'm just trying to fight back. Or am I parenting through a place of observing my child's own uniqueness and what they need and allowing them to create the beliefs that are going to be empowering, supportive and nurturing for their own mental, physical and emotional development. So this kind of a growing more to this kind of way of living and parenting. But I do still see some who are still resisting the there's nothing wrong with me kind of behavior.

Aicila [00:10:51]:

It's interesting, like, as a my own journey, I feel like I knew there were things I didn't wanna replicate, and yet at the same time, what you grow up with is normal. You think that's just how it is. And it it takes time to realize like, oh, it may have been normal, and it's still problematic. And also the other thing that I think people forget is even if your pairs were perfect, like the one set that got it all right, whatever that means, it doesn't matter because the world today is not the world that they were preparing you for. There's different skill sets. There's different challenges. There's different opportunities. And so, like, adaptability is one of the most important things that we learn as humans.

Aicila [00:11:38]:

Being able to adapt how you raise your child to fit the world they're gonna meet and not the world that you met, I think is really important. And it's not a judgment. It's not saying your parents didn't a good job or that you aren't fine, whatever that means. I mean, maybe you're not. But that all ignores the fact that it's not the same world that you're facing.

Emily [00:11:58]:

Yeah. I know that as well. Like, in theta healing, we understand and we learn about the how the subconscious mind picks up different words and how we instill those as beliefs. So what our parents may have thought was, a healthy way of parenting, like I'm doing a good job, for example, saying good girl or good boy. Now we know that will actually instill the belief within them that I have to act a certain way to receive love. It's the external validation that they're receiving. So now that child's going to grow up again. The parents thinking, I'm just praising my kid because they put the blocks on top of one another or they tied their shoes properly.

Emily [00:12:42]:

But what they don't realize is that's actually now instilling a people pleasing belief within them or the word don't. The subconscious mind can't pick up the word don't. So when parents say don't touch that and the kid ends up touching it, now they're thinking, okay, well, I'm trusting my intuition because I received the message of touch that because the brain cancels out don't. But now I'm getting in trouble for it. So now I can no longer trust my intuition. I have to trust what my parents are saying. So it disconnects them from their own intuitive guidance system. Knowing about the subconscious mind, knowing how kids pick up beliefs is so powerful as a parent because now you can change the way you behave toward them, the way you act, what you say, how you act around them in order for them to create and instill the beliefs that are going to be empowering for them.

Emily [00:13:36]:

They're going to allow them to be their authentic self and to feel accepted as their authentic self. Because again, how many of us fear that we're going to be alone if we don't act a certain way or look a certain way? Right?

Aicila [00:13:49]:

I think you touched on something so important. I do business development, you know, consulting, mentorship, and strategic operations for solo to present a new way of thinking about things. One of the things that I see a lot is exactly that. One of the biggest pieces of my job is to hold space with people. I develop trust with them. I hold space for them to remember to trust their internal guidance system. It's not the same as, like, hyperindividualism. Right? Like, it's not this sort of, like, in my opinion, this destructive way that Americans kinda get all into this idea of bootstrapping.

Aicila [00:14:34]:

It's more like you're here. You have something to offer, and it's unique. I can't even guess what it is. Or in my case, like a lot of the business people that I work with, they know it. And yet at the same time, they're humble. Right? So they don't they're not gonna be, like, look at me. And I just feel like I have to hold that space while they really develop that sense of this is what I'm here for even though it's not quite aligned with what everyone's telling me it should be. I can trust that.

Aicila [00:15:00]:

I like that internal guidance system. And I think I personally think the world would be a more pleasant, more amazing place if every person felt that sense of trust.

Emily [00:15:12]:

I know that the moms that I've worked with, they all end up going to end up being trained as a Theta healing practitioner because it has helped them so much, not only working through their own stuff, but then being able to then use that

Aicila [00:15:25]:

So for those of you who are listening and you're just like, what are you talking about? It's a little science fiction y. There's 2 books I'm really gonna recommend. I may have mentioned them on other shows. They just really have been powerful for me this year. One of them is The Experience Machine which talks about how our brains are predictive modeling and the other one's called The Case Against Reality. And they fit really well together, and they really talk about the a lot of the science and the neuroscience and the physics behind what Emily's talking about. And for me coming from I came from a very conservative religion and I sort of left that and so then I became skeptical to the point of probably overreaction to some things that are a little bit more metaphysical. And so I have to eat some humble pie in terms of recognizing, like, oh, actually these things that people are talking about them, like, they actually really are true.

Aicila [00:16:18]:

The how you talk to yourself, we are beings of energy, and that and we affect each other. They've shown where our limbic systems hook up. That's why a crowd experiences it's not just that the music is better at a concert, it's that you are literally sharing in other people's joy and excitement and it gets amplified. But like that's it's really important to understand that while it sounds like science fiction and for sure there are people out there that that will go to extremes in ways that are not healthy. And I really appreciate that you're bringing that forward and especially for parents because, yeah, it's true. When you're younger, you can really solidify yourself in some of these powerful ways of being.

Emily [00:17:01]:

And they entered the world in this beautiful space, and they are connected with you in deeper ways than anyone else on this planet.

Aicila [00:17:09]:

Mhmm. I really saw that when my kids were young. I found that if I didn't like something they were doing, I could easily track it to something that I did and change my behavior, and theirs would change very quickly. And so we didn't have to say don't very often because if I just paid attention, I could change the influences they were dealing with. And that was just the most effective way to get to get the things across that I thought were important. And I think the thing about a lot of this stuff that I feel like I've had my own moment moments with, but also just in general is that a lot of this takes a little more time. And it's not it's not dominant and demanding. Right? Like, you're working with the circumstances, you're working with the child, and that challenges a lot of, frankly, white supremacy beliefs and the way that we engage around our kids from, you know, some of these outmoded forms of power that exist in our communities.

Aicila [00:18:15]:

Do you find that folks are able to sit in that discomfort of, like, not making it happen a certain way? Or, I mean, I guess maybe if they come to you, they're already for that, but, like, do you run into that at all?

Emily [00:18:31]:

With the subconscious mind, its job is to protect you. And so it's protecting you with the beliefs that it's been instilled with when you were a child in the ages of 0 and 7. So any form of change is a threat to your very being. So every single client that I've had, every mama that I've worked with does get defensive, whether it is creating the idea that I don't know what the problem is. I don't know what's the worst thing that could happen. I don't know why I fear this. Or they just don't want to do the work and they're like, I'm done. But that is just because the subconscious is trying to protect them because it knows that if I change something, I'm in the unknown.

Emily [00:19:18]:

And I don't know how to protect this being in the unknown because I have the belief that love is pain or I am alone. If I'm going to receive help from somebody, I don't know what to do here. So a lot of resistance does come up, but I'm trained to kind of navigate my way around those blocks. So I'm used to it by now. But for the moms who come forward to me to receive this healing, whether it is in my group coaching, my 1 on 1, they all face their own inner block at some point throughout the course of working together. But they also always transcend that because their higher self, their greater purpose of why they're doing it is stronger than the fear within them. I hope that made sense.

Aicila [00:20:07]:

It did. And I think that's fantastic. I it sounds to me like some of the way the work works is it teaches you how to successfully support people in processing that. And oftentimes, having someone show a different reaction or experience a different reaction, that could be really helpful. And it does just feel like such a powerful thing to bring to the world and to moms and to families. Mhmm. So thank you. Wait.

Aicila [00:20:39]:

Do you have any advice that you look to for your work or that you share that you feel has been consistently helpful to you or to people you work with?

Emily [00:20:50]:

There's so much. I'm just going to see what comes forward for me. Start becoming aware of your own triggers with your kids. So your triggers with your kids are going to tell you what something about your own belief system. So for example, my daughter had a really difficult time going down for naps, was always fighting it, barely slept. Like, it was super triggering for me. And I kept asking myself, okay, well, why? What is it telling me about my belief system? Like, what do I why am I getting so upset and angry? And what I found out was that it created the feelings of helplessness within me because I didn't know what to do when she was crying and not sleeping. And I knew she had to go down for a nap.

Emily [00:21:37]:

And the feelings of helplessness came from feeling out of control with my dad because he was very controlling. He was a perfectionist. He I love you, dad. If you listen to this, he was a perfectionist. He he liked things a certain way. I had to hide parts of myself because we didn't want the neighbors look at you a different way. So there are so many things happening. And I know he picked that up from his dad, but when I no longer had control over my daughter, it put me into that.

Emily [00:22:10]:

Okay, I'm feeling helpless. I don't know what to do. And then tie that addition to I experienced my own sexual trauma as a kid and feeling helpless there. So I needed control. So all this together showed me my own belief system. So when I started working on that in myself and healing that and reprogramming that and downloading programs of feeling safe to be in this place of surrender, to go with the flow, to feeling safe in my body that allowed not only me to react differently when she did have those crying moments, but also she had those moments less because our children are here to show us parts of ourselves that need healing. So when they when we can learn that ourselves as moms, they no longer need to act out in different ways to show us that they can then have that space to be their authentic self. Self.

Emily [00:23:06]:

And similar to you saying that when you changed your behavior, your child's behavior changed because you learned something that need to be done for you to grow. So your child no longer needed to be that mirror to you. So I would say take a look at what triggers you within your child. Have that be the mirror to you, And then you can start doing the work to changing your own behavior, your thoughts, beliefs, and that will drastically change how you show up as a parent and how your kids show up to you.

Aicila [00:23:38]:

It is really good advice. Thank you.

Emily [00:23:41]:

You're welcome.

Aicila [00:23:47]:

So how do you stay inspired, or do you recharge? I mean, as a mom, that's always a question, I think.

Emily [00:23:55]:

Yeah. So a couple of different things. And I always download myself with programs of feeling energized, rejuvenated, and ready to take on the day no matter how much sleep I get. And this has made the biggest difference because I'm a co sleeping mama and sometimes my daughter doesn't sleep or she's restless or she's up every 2 hours, like wanting down in that program within myself has allowed me to have energy even when I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. I do shocker balancing on myself and my daughter every single day. I balance my and open up my energy centers and meridian points. I work on the energetics more than anything else, and that flows into changing the physical manifestation of my day to day life. So whether it is and I always tune into my daughter as well, whether it is I need to feeling grounded and I'm feeling anxious, then I'll go use a grounding mat or I'll go touch a tree or my feet and earth in order to then feel that place of, you know, grounded, calm, safe, secure.

Emily [00:25:06]:

If it's I'm feeling stressed and overwhelmed, then I might just be guided to clean the clutter of my house. So that way my mind is free. My mind is at peace and have clarity. So I always work on the energetics, and that has drastically helped myself and my daughter and my husband.

Aicila [00:25:28]:

No. I think that makes a lot of sense. So for folks that are listening, they're like, oh, I need this, or I need to talk to Emily, or I need to follow her and get tips. What's the best way for them to learn more, you know, get involved, get in touch?

Emily [00:25:42]:

Yeah. I am always on Instagram and threads as we connected on threads. And my I guess it's called handle. I'm not entirely sure of my social media lingo, but it's at theta. So t h e t a with Emily, and I'm always on there. So you can send me a DM. You can check out my offers that I have. I have work shops for mamas to heal themselves and do this work.

Emily [00:26:07]:

I have mini courses to help mom and baby sleep. And then I also offer 1 on 1 coaching, group coaching. So you can all find that pretty much on social media.

Aicila [00:26:18]:

Lovely. And is there anything else that you're really excited to share with people? Because I know you had to head out, and I wanna make sure we cover all the moments of joy and important topics.

Emily [00:26:30]:

Yeah. Let me see. Just realize that as a mom, you have such an important role in your kid's life more than just raising them, but to be that cycle breaker, to set them free from the indoctrination, the programming, the limiting beliefs that past generations have faced. This is a time and you have that very divine and powerful role and ability to do this work. So go out and do it, mom.

Aicila [00:27:04]:

Sounds great. Well, thank you so much. I really appreciate you being here today. Thanks, everyone, for listening. Go follow Emily. Talk to you soon.

Emily [00:27:10]:

So much.