Mindset Shifts and Leadership Insights with Career Coach Gwendolyn Houston R Jack
Business as UNusual Ep 11 - Season 3 Transcript
Aicila [00:00:00]:
This is Business is Unusual with Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack, the founder, creative force, wisdom, and executive implementer behind HUJAC Digital Marketing Solutions. Welcome to the show.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:00:16]:
Thank you.
Aicila [00:00:19]:
So you were just talking about I I read your tagline, entrepreneurship is a career choice, and you said you had things. I was like, let's get into it. Let's just start there. Let's do something a little different today.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:00:31]:
Let's get into it. So starting with entrepreneurship is a career choice. Making a business, creating a business, filing the papers to be legal, that's the easy part. Because everybody and their mother, although I could say everybody they mama, everybody and their mother is doing it. It's all over social media. You can do this to be a business owner. You could do that. That's the easy part.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:00:58]:
Whether you have the aptitude and should truly travel down that pathway is a different discussion. But being an entrepreneur is not like it's not a thing. It's not a hobby. It's a job. It is a job. And in my experience, what I have found is if you want to have a thriving career, a long lasting career and I know I'm from an older generation where you did 20, 25, 30 years. You had a pension, and you go off and retire.
Aicila [00:01:31]:
You make it sound like a sentence. You did 25 years.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:01:36]:
Doing time. Right? You're doing doing time. I get that that's the previous life, but it is still a life. Even if you wanna have a 5 year, 7 year, 10 year business, you got to have the mindset that this is a career. It's not a hobby. It's not a thing. It's a job. And if you want to do well in your job, I have found that having an adviser, a mentor, a coach will help you in that in that realm.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:02:08]:
So when I took on my own entrepreneurship ways, I found Mhmm. To work with. Coaches have coaches because, like, we understand that you're going to need an adviser. I have a coach. I have a mentor. Mentoring coaches are not the same thing. I know sometimes they intertwine, but I have a mentor and then I have an adviser, I. E.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:02:28]:
A coach to help me think through some of the ideas or what have you. But entrepreneurship is a career choice. Everyone doesn't want to go to a 2 year, 4 year college, a vocational something, a trade. Some of us come right out the bat, and we want to do our own thing, and that's great. It is a career choice. K. If you wanna be a barber, hairstylist, whatever, you're working for yourself. But do you have all the tools necessary to be the best business leader for your business? That is where people like me come in.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:03:01]:
That's where we come in. Mhmm.
Aicila [00:03:04]:
So Well and I'll say I won't work with a coach or a therapist that doesn't have a coach or a therapist. Like, that's one of my first questions is, who do you go to? And if they don't go to anyone or they think they know it all, I know we're not a good fit. I'm looking for someone who's curious, who's coachable
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:03:23]:
Mhmm.
Aicila [00:03:24]:
Who can relate to me and who can understand that it you know, what I'm looking for, which is not perfection in itself. It's for guidance. Right? Yes. Who understands that dynamic? And I I've found that, interestingly, every time I ask that question, and I'm I mean, it's only a handful of people, there was like, no one's ever asked me that before. And I'm like, no. No. Everyone should be asking that.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:03:44]:
Yeah. You should
Aicila [00:03:45]:
make that point. Know. I I agree.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:03:50]:
I'm sorry. No. I keep you know, whenever you and I get together to stop talking, we know. We are gonna overlap.
Aicila [00:03:56]:
Gonna go. It's all good. This is, like, this is real talk.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:04:01]:
We get to overlap, and we get to, like, share the ideas, But you are correct. In terms of growth and self development, one of those factors of being a really great business leader, being a leader let's just go there. I'm gonna take the business out. Just being the leader is that you are always working on yourself, looking at self development, and you are finding the areas that could just be a tweak better. Right? We're all striving. We perhaps, maybe, should all strive to be better. You can't do it by yourself. You can't do it by yourself.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:04:36]:
You need to go to a subject matter expert to help you wade those waters. Like, you can't know every single thing. So why would you even assume that you wouldn't need to have another teacher in your life as you are going throughout your own career path? So
Aicila [00:04:55]:
No. I think that's true. And I also feel like and I'm gonna plug you here in that I feel like some people have the gift just by their sense of presence. And for those of you that don't relate to that, just move on. It's fine. But you have that where, literally just showing up to engage with you opens something up in my awareness of my business and how I engage. It's it's always enlightening. You also have, like, a great set of questions and we have a great rapport and engagement, but there's just something about the way that you are that really and truly can give people access to pieces of their own wisdom that they wouldn't get to otherwise.
Aicila [00:05:38]:
And it's such a beautiful thing. That's why I said when I was on, G's podcast, it was like, G brings out the best in her guests. And I stand by that because there's just something about how you show up and pay attention and just your genuine presence that creates something that's new between the two people that are engaging. And it's powerful and it's an amazing gift that I am so grateful to have experienced it. And I really love that you've actually been able to turn it into something that you can use to help people on this somewhat rocky path of entrepreneurship at times.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:06:11]:
Oh, yeah. Thank you for that. Like, sincerely, thank you. I I think about when I was a kid, like, I've always been somebody's ear. 2 things when I was a kid. 1, we were always teaching. So I'm gonna date myself, and I don't mind because I'm pretty good. I'm pretty good over here.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:06:30]:
But I remember, like, at the end of school, in elementary school, we had teachers who would give away all their extra worksheets. And I was the kid who would take the extra worksheets and host summer school for the neighborhood kids. And then whatever I couldn't use, I could turn them into hats and sell them for, like, a quarter or so. We were always selling stuff and teaching people. That's how we know that you are on the right path when you do it years later. So I remember in my previous life, I was a, at the time, a training supervisor. So I wrote training for the department I was in. I wrote training for the entire company, and then I was a familiar face for the employee.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:07:14]:
Mhmm. Because they were like, hey, Gwendolyn. You photograph pretty well. You wanna be button you know, you wanna be in some ads? I was like, yeah. Sure. Why not? And then somebody was noticing that, hey. Gwendolyn is fairly lively. We had a sticker in the training videos.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:07:30]:
I was like, you know, retail is theater, so I can finally live out all of my acting chops here. But we did impromptu training session. So it was never, like, scripts. Whatever I said, I said in real life, and that's that's the beautiful things. People were like, no. I've seen her say that and make that eyebrow. Like, I've seen her do it. That's a great point.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:07:51]:
So my director came to me and said, hey. We have a decision to make. I had a team of really great people who could manage themselves. And keep in mind, as a coach, as a manager, adviser, we just advise. I didn't manage people. I managed careers. So I didn't have to be there to hold somebody's hand. I could tell them what the objective was, gave them time to work on it, because I would be gone for, like, a month on these store trips.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:08:18]:
I come back, we meet, we make the next thing, we go on. And then you got a decision to make. You can either keep your team or you can do the store opening company face thing full time. But you got to make a choice. And my director, he just knew. He knew he knew me. And he was I told him I said, well, I guess I'm going to take my people. He was like, wait, what? I'm sorry.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:08:46]:
You don't want to travel? And I was like, no. I want to be with my people. Like, people bring joy. Seeing someone else grow brings me joy. And he was like, well, I'm gonna have you do both. So I meet you. So I was like, wait a minute. What happened to I I have to pick 1.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:09:04]:
Yeah. He just knew. So I've been doing 2 things for a very long time. I have always had a place where I knew how to manage my time for people, but then also manage my own wants and aspirations and what have you. So being a career coach comes naturally. We've been doing it for so long for so many people. Being able to hear people, see exactly where they are, meet them in that space, and talk it out. Really talk it out.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:09:33]:
And some of it felt like I sometimes I am not a counselor. Right? I'm not a counselor. So whenever I crossed over, I said, you need to find you the therapist key because they are my expertise. But I hear what you're saying. And I didn't know that we had employee assistance programs that could take care of that. So we, of course, steered them there. But we have always listened to people, and I had an issue. I mean, I didn't think it was an issue.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:10:02]:
My boss did. Where I literally manage people out of my office, like off my team because they were in the wrong place. They were not supposed to be where they were. And I said, no offense to you. You're in the wrong career. We gotta get you out of here. And they were like, wait, what? I said, my job when you came here was to grow your career. And I am telling you, based on what you're telling me, you're not in the right place.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:10:28]:
So I'm gonna help you get to where you need to be. And they were like, but I there's no loyalty to no offense to come to my team. Right? Yeah. So we've been doing that for a long time.
Aicila [00:10:45]:
I super feel that. I feel like my commitment is is to the team, to the people, and to the greater good, ultimately, to the community. And it shifts your focus. And there's the other thing. I bet you were this kind of leader too that your focus was on making other people successful. Yes. And I feel like that's one of the things that I've heard in it as a little encapsulation. Like, great leaders don't try to make themselves look good.
Aicila [00:11:13]:
They try to make their people look good. And I I would say not look good, but to actually excel and to be able to really do their best. And there's a big human component to it because the reality is that your team, your people, your company isn't gonna do well if you have people who aren't in their best zone of effectiveness. If they're in the wrong place, everybody suffers. And it's hard sometimes to get people to see that it's not negative or positive. It's a value neutral statement. Mhmm. It's, you know, it's like, you're clearly not thriving.
Aicila [00:11:44]:
What do we need to do to get you to thrive? It's interesting because there's this, and maybe you could speak to this a little, I feel like I'll say things as you know outright. And I feel like at times being direct gets received as being critical in, like, a negative way. And and I'm fine. I'm I'm certainly negative at times. Let's be clear. But sometimes just being direct, like, that doesn't work there turns into, like, a thing. It's like, no. I'm I'm literally just saying it doesn't work.
Aicila [00:12:14]:
Like, you you gotta fix it because that's not functional. How do you find that goes for you? What's your observation around that?
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:12:22]:
So Gwendolyn, and, yes, I refer to myself in the 3rd person, work with the people. Gwendolyn is direct. However, I have learned with growing my communication skills that there is a place where you can be gracious and also honest. Right? So just because you are up front with people, doesn't mean that you are trying to hurt them intentionally, that you are gunning for them, like all the negative things. And the thing about communication, quick little side note, we don't know how to talk to each other. We haven't talked to each other in I'll just say in this society, American society, in a very long time. We don't understand how to listen to hear people versus listening to respond. We immediately shut down everything and go into a, they haven't heard me.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:13:19]:
It's like there is communication is an art. It's an art that needs to be practiced, and it needs to be honed. And a lot of us stop at a certain spot that I'm right, and I'm always right, and I don't care what you just said. It's like you haven't heard a word I said to you. Like, I just said I'm gonna give you $1,000 and you're still upset. You haven't heard a word. Stop listening. So I get the idea of being seen as direct.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:13:46]:
Gwendolyn is direct. One of the things that people said about me when I did I should say did, but celebrated 25 years. We did this yearbook. And in there, consistently was, you always know where you stand with Gwendolyn. She's not gonna BS you, which I didn't do. But I also took time for every person that I would interact with on my team specifically. Right? So if someone came to my team, I would ask them, what is your mode of communication? How do you like to communicate? How do you prefer to receive feedback? Well, I like criticism. No.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:14:25]:
Feedback. Because criticism is subjective, and we're doing objective things here. Right? Because it's not about me. None of this is about me. How I feel, like, it's nothing to do. But I ask those questions to set the stage for what's about to happen. Because I know how I am, but I don't know how they are. So the idea of being direct, we have this fear as a society for hearing what needs to be heard in a timely fashion.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:14:53]:
We would much rather put our head in the sand, you know, just like not hear about it, pretend like it never happened, versus saying what needs to be said. And it's gone on for so long that when someone does come along and say, hey, the emperor has no clothes. You're like, oh my God, I can't believe you. It's like cut it out. It Yeah. So we're at a place where we need to figure out quickly how to communicate with each other and how and learn even focus on becoming better communicators. So I am direct. When people come to me, I tell them I am a jagged little pill.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:15:33]:
I am not for everybody. Understand that. And everything is good until they get that first cut, like, oh my gosh, you just cut me. But it's always delivered with graciousness and understanding who I'm talking to. And I typically will ask for permission before I share something. You know, I'll say, if I may or may I share a story? Because if they don't wanna hear it, I don't wanna share it. If they're not in the place to hear it, then there's no point. Because sometimes you'll hear a message, but it's too soon or they're not ready and it doesn't it doesn't resonate.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:16:08]:
It just falls flat. They're not ready for it. You know, if you're you're emotionally charged, you're not ready to hear anything. Like, I've previous life, current life even, because as a business owner, I don't have very many customers who cross that line because I'm particular about who I work with. But I do wanna say that people do get agitated. They they do get upset. I get it. So when I talk to people, I ask them, are you able to have an adult conversation, or should I call you back when you feel better? And people be like, excuse me? Because if you're not at a place where you wanna hear what is being said, there's no need for us to talk.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:16:46]:
I mean, you know, you screaming and yelling and all this stuff, I'll give you a minute to do your temper tantrum, and then I'm done. I don't have that kind of patience. I don't have I have this much capacity for that, like, this much. And even that's a lot. But once you've done it, we can't go back there. So if you're not ready to actually get a resolution to your issue, then I will call you back when you feel better. It's perfectly fine. And customers hang up on me.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:17:11]:
And I was like, did I lose it? Did I lose it? I'm sorry. Did you I hung up on you. Oh, I'm sorry. So should I call you back because you're not ready to talk about it? It's a different way, but you're upfront and honest about what's about to go down. People are taken aback. But direct, yeah, Gwendolyn is direct. You will always know where you stand. I'm very intentional with my words.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:17:32]:
I don't like to go around the mulberry bush, that whole but I ask people again, how do you want it? You want it right between the eyes, or do you want it like marshmallows, fluffy and soft? And then I will follow based on what they tell me. Nice.
Aicila [00:17:50]:
I love it. But, also, the graciousness, I think, speaks to what you started with where you're committed to the to the team and to the career. Mhmm. And that's different than being maybe committed to the ego or to, like, self preservation. And and I do think that it it's a tricky widget because I I feel like some people are into brutal honesty because they like the brutal part. And I know that's not you, but it's the way I observed that there's this place of people, like, well, I was being honest. And I'm like, yeah. You're kinda being mean honest, though.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:18:28]:
Yeah.
Aicila [00:18:28]:
And there are times when you have to, like, be so succinct. I get it. But I think of it more as a pattern. Like, if somebody consistently is sort of mostly brutally honest, it's like, yeah, I think maybe that's what you're into. And and it doesn't I don't think it's any better. I think that you can be you can find and it sounds like you have found that balance. And I think it's a powerful thing. And it's a good thing to model because being able to it's kind of like a I I make the distinction between, you know, accountability and punishment.
Aicila [00:18:58]:
Yes. I'm not for punishment. I think punishment is inhumane and cruel, actually. Yeah. I'm for accountability, and accountability is it's a process. Mhmm. And it's about a lot of pieces, and it's not always as quote, unquote satisfying to external people. But but, you know, as a parent, I really saw that that distinction was hugely impactful.
Aicila [00:19:24]:
And and as my kids have gotten older, I I can see the results, and and I respect and like them, and that feels good. And I, you know, I think that's mostly them, obviously, but I feel like those are the kinds of things that can get between them and being who they are. Like, you're punishing them. They become fearful. They become withdrawn. And I feel like that totally translates to work environments. If people feel safe asking for help, making mistakes, admitting that they made mistakes, not only is the company gonna do better, but they're gonna thrive as people. It's it's a weird thing where doing the right thing leads to better results.
Aicila [00:19:59]:
But it is it takes more time to cultivate that relationship and that awareness.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:20:04]:
It takes work. It takes work. It takes work. It is also it's there's a commitment there. I was I was thinking about this on the way back from visiting some family. Had a road trip. Plenty of time to think on a road trip. Right? But I read this article about communication and how there are some people using work email as a tool to hurt others, where they would blind copy people, and they would share private messages to so and so to get someone in trouble.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:20:37]:
First of all, we're adults. Using the phrase in trouble is beyond juvenile. So let's just go ahead and call that what it is. But why are we doing that? Like, why is that even why is that even a thing that this is where we are? But when you haven't taken the time to invest in your people, in terms of, as you say, creating an environment for them to speak freely without this fear, without the idea of, I don't want to get in trouble. It's like we are 40, 30 something, 50 something years old. Are you guys kidding me? We're like, we're not 2. We're not 3. Like, what are you talking about? But when you don't set the foundation for how you communicate and asking for other people's opinions and ideas, and I want to know what's going on.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:21:26]:
Then you get that sort of backbiting thing happening in your in your workplace. And for entrepreneurs, there are a lot of people who want to scale their business. I think it's a great thing. However, are are you great with communicating? I just wanna know because you're now working with other people who are looking to you in your direction, who are in your customer in some form of fashion. And just bringing on a couple of extra hands does not equal as training them or whatever else or setting the tone for how you work with your customers. Like, there's a lot of work that goes into there into into that dynamic. But but this is this is that part when I think about when you have people who, again, entrepreneurs, I start a business. I'm gonna hire my friends and my family or jimmy off the corner.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:22:20]:
It's like, are you ready for that? Are you are you sure about that kid? You wanna you wanna jump into something like that? And we need to work on your communication. We need to work on how you focus on your customers. We need to work on all of these things, a strategic mindset. Right? Like, all of these things that people take for granted when they start the business, being a leader in your own business is easier said than done. Just gonna go ahead and call it, especially if you've never I'm gonna say work for somebody else because you do get you do pick up a little bit of skills and and what have you when you work for someone else. See an example of how it could be done. You don't have to do it the exact same way, but you see an example. So imagine going from school to being a business owner.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:23:11]:
I would hope that there was somebody who modeled that for you. But, you know, hope is not a strategy. It's merely I've put out a plan, so I've been told. And I have told them so we're not gonna hold
Aicila [00:23:23]:
it. No. One of the things that you're bringing to mind for me is that I feel like and I struggle with this myself as part of why I haven't expanded with more people is I'm still working to understand the things that I do best are implicit. They're intuitive for me. Okay. And so one of the things I've been doing for the last year or so is really working to understand and make them more explicit because I can't actually pass those things on to someone until I can make a list of actions and steps. And prior to this process of, like, reevaluating, like, what are those, it's sort of, well, you just do this. It it just do what feels right.
Aicila [00:24:11]:
And I know, like, I've run enough businesses and raised kids and managed community events. I know that's not helpful. No. No. Nobody's gonna go do what feels right. I mean, they will, but it's not gonna be what I expect.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:24:22]:
Yeah.
Aicila [00:24:22]:
That's not fair. It's actually really unfair. It's, you know, it's mind reading to a certain extent that you're expecting, but I feel like that process of making things explicit is hard sometimes to communicate to people that that's what you're trying to do. And it's funny. Right? Because I I help, I help other folks do it, but it's really hard to do it for yourself too. I have, like, coaches and development people that are helping me with that for the exactly that reason because you cannot do it yourself. So instead of hiring people to do things for me, I've been hiring people to help me figure out what I need to do to be able to hire people to do things for me. Yes.
Aicila [00:25:06]:
So can you talk about that with your folks? And are they good at listening? I feel like sometimes entrepreneurs are a little my way. I mean, I guess you're pretty picky about who you work with, but do you ever confront that sort of like, oh, I you know, that MiWay thing? Or is it more before before you've gotten into it, you've realized that, you know, that's not maybe the best fit?
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:25:28]:
Yeah. So I'll answer both part of your question. The the first part that we we talk about with people. And we'll say, for example, the idea is I'm gonna scale the business. Or when someone comes to me and they they bring their question. Because we'll do a we'll we'll do a free 30 minute consultation. This is quick chat. It's just a chat.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:25:47]:
It really is. It's just tell me about what you're doing and why you don't need to call me. So we'll talk to them about it. And one of my previous jobs, because then again, I wrote training and everything, is to document. I had to go document processes because there was a time where everybody was doing it their way, and that doesn't create consistency. And you can't have best practices, and you can't create key performance indicators. You need to have a standard before you say, just go do this. Like, okay, but what's what's the best practice for x, y, z? Got it documented.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:26:24]:
And so we would follow people around. So I asked people like, do you have what you do every single day, 7 days a week? Do you have it documented? And they're like, documented? Like, yes. Like, here's here's how we open the day. The day starts at 2 o'clock. So I actually get in 5 before that. Phones turn on. Right? 1st first is a check for email and check for orders that came overnight or check for like, whatever it is. Like, there should be a checklist of how you open your business, how you shut your business down.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:26:56]:
What's your address? How do you answer the phone? Like, all these things that we take for granted because we are schoolpreneurs. But if you're going to bring somebody else in, you got to have it. I am one person. I have a SharePoint site. I have a SharePoint site that has my emails as templates. It has it has the best practices. So if I ever decide to bring somebody in to do x y z, there is a place waiting for them to get all these documents. Straight behavior, by the way.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:27:28]:
I'm sorry.
Aicila [00:27:31]:
Straight behavior. I love that. No. I I'm a I'm a I'm I'm a documenter as well. Partially because I've I learned about myself that the first time I do anything, I do it the best. And when I was back when I was running the center in Tacoma, we were putting together a fundraiser. And so the 1st year I did it, and it and I I really did a great job. I've never done anything like that before.
Aicila [00:28:01]:
And then the next year, I went to do it and I missed a bunch of details that I had totally gotten that 1st year because I didn't make I didn't write a list. Right? And so the second I was like, oh, I'm not just making lists for other people. I'm making lists for future me. Yes. Like, there's something about the kind of attention I give something the very first time I do it that is a little bit more, I guess. Mhmm. And so when I so if I not if I document that first effort in in more detail and then I follow that template with some iteration, of course, it just continues to get better instead of me reinventing something I did better 4 years ago.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:28:40]:
Yes. Yes.
Aicila [00:28:44]:
Like, well, there you go.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:28:46]:
Lesson learned. It's something that we do. Like, I I tell people often if they wanna get better at something, depending on what what the task is, record themselves. Right? So I knew that if I had to write a training, I would record myself delivering the training, because I'm right for everybody else. And then I would go back in, you know, transcribing everything. I'd be like, oh my god. That was awful. Take that out.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:29:10]:
It's like, oh, that was great. Let's add that in. So there is a place where you can have to write this stuff down for everybody else, because it's not just for you, it's for you. But even you should be meeting your standards every single day. So that's one. Now the second part is about entrepreneurs who know everything, because we know we know everything. Like, hello, entrepreneur here. All right.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:29:39]:
So when I talk to people, like in that consultation, kind of get a feel for where they are. When people share everything, I'm like, okay. I've got somebody who is willing to give all the things, but they're also taking notes as they say. I need to just slow down because I'm taking notes. I'm like, okay. That's fine. I can slow down. And then there are people that when I ask certain questions, their response gives me an idea as to which way this is going to work.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:30:06]:
Now the one thing I tell people is nothing changes if nothing changes.
Aicila [00:30:10]:
Mhmm.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:30:10]:
Understand that. Yes. You are paying for this, but I'm not the kind of person who sleeps at night knowing that I'm wasting your money. But more importantly, hate to say it, wasting my time. Mhmm. It's still my time. Right? Yeah. When I work with somebody, you get the joy from seeing the success of somebody else.
Aicila [00:30:33]:
Yeah.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:30:33]:
I remember when she was, like, this big and look at her, and I'm like, that's a good thing to see people thrive and flourish and just spread their wings. That's why I do what I do. Now, yeah, I get paid for it, but I also wanna see people thrive and flourish. Like, you need not just not just the money. Like, it's not that. So there have been times when we have met people, and we meet at a we come to this empath. It's like, look. We gotta figure something out, because we've met a couple of times, and I don't let it go very long.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:31:10]:
Like, by meeting 3, we have to have a a meeting of the minds that we set the tone. Like, the tone is set. It's kinda like working with your fitness coach, dietitian, talking to your doctor. Like, we can tell you what needs to be done for you to meet x y z as a result. Whether that truly is your choice because you're grown. Like, it can't make you do whatever you don't wanna do. However, we can also, in the relationship, be like, you know what? This isn't working. Yeah.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:31:41]:
It's not working because I'm giving you the advice that you're seeking and you're giving me back this whole other thing of, well, this is why I wanna do this, and and this is why I'm thinking. But did it ever occur to you that you bring in an adviser because you've received it from some other some other view. I'm up here. I'm way up here. I'm like outside. I'm in space looking down. So I'm seeing all the things because I'm not close to this. You are like super close to it.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:32:10]:
It's you are like Simon Twins. I don't have that attachment. So I can see a bigger picture and say, let's try something different. Let's not take this first adventure. Now, again, dating myself, I love choose your own adventure books. Do they still break those? I don't even know. I'm asking questions.
Aicila [00:32:29]:
They actually had a choose your own adventure Netflix
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:32:32]:
show. What? Okay. I have to get into that.
Aicila [00:32:35]:
I got I got you.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:32:37]:
So I was that kid who like, the first time I read it, I would just go and take the adventure without knowing. And then I became the kid, like, I wanna know what happens back here, But I'm willing to try something different. Because even I have my own events or campaigns, I'll do something based on what I've always done and trying something new. And I'm like, okay, I got half and half results. Here's what worked well. Here's what I'm going to do different the next time.
Aicila [00:33:10]:
Yeah.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:33:12]:
If it worked well, you keep that. If you miss something, we're probably gonna take that one out because that's not so great. Like, that that fell flat. Okay. Well, I'm not gonna do that. Right? But even I get my own self feedback or I'll ask friends, hey. When you looked at this, what's your thought? Oh, well, this was great. Might wanna try this next time.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:33:29]:
Perfect. Great. But every blue moon, you'll meet somebody who's not ready for the change. That's what I tell them. I get that you want to have a coach. I think it's beautiful. You're not ready for the change. You're not ready to change yet.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:33:42]:
What do you mean? Your behaviors, the words you choose to use, and the fact that we're in the same boat we were in 3 weeks ago. We're not moving. We're just in this boat looking cute, and I don't even have champagne next to me. So that's a problem.
Aicila [00:33:59]:
Right. Exactly. I mean, they're they're neglecting the their coach when they fail to
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:34:03]:
give you the
Aicila [00:34:04]:
champagne treatment.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:34:05]:
Right. If someone's gonna be here and be cute, at least give you a cocktail. But you tell them like, look, this is not the right time for you. It's okay. Come back.
Aicila [00:34:15]:
Come back.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:34:18]:
Or or it could be despite the fact that we have this great synergy, I'm not the right person for you. Because it could be either one, and I've had that. I have had persons in my former life who are on my team when I say, you know what? I am not the right coach for you because I am not here for you when you need me.
Aicila [00:34:38]:
Yeah.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:34:38]:
We got to get you a better a better manager. And we like, you have to know when it's either you or it could be the other person. It could be timing. It could be you. Sometimes it's me. So like, you know what? I'm not the right person for you, but because of networking, I may know someone else who may be a better fit.
Aicila [00:34:56]:
Yeah.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:34:57]:
I'm okay with that. I'm perfectly fine with it. So yeah, that happens from time to time. Not very often. Cause again, like we, we fill out the energy and we do the consultation and it really, I shouldn't say consultation. It's really a chat. Cause sometimes like when people are working on it, like, whew, that is not what we do. No.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:35:14]:
Yeah. That's not what that's not what Gwendolyn does. Or it could be, okay. I hear what you're saying. I have ideas. Do you want to talk about what this could look like? And then we go down that path. Mhmm.
Aicila [00:35:27]:
That makes sense. I usually ask people about advice. Do you have advice that you like to give or that you've received that you feel has been consistently helpful or inspiring? What's your theme song? That's another good one I've never asked, but feel like I should start asking.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:35:50]:
You do you really wanna know my theme song?
Aicila [00:35:53]:
Of course, I do. Are you kidding?
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:35:57]:
I'm trying to say it with a straight face, but it literally blast in my car at least 3 times when I'm driving. Bitch better have my money by Rihanna.
Aicila [00:36:08]:
Gets me pumped. I love it. That's so great. I think I need to start asking everybody their theme song.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:36:15]:
She's like, oh, I'm
Aicila [00:36:15]:
just trying to do
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:36:18]:
I mean, it just gets you you know, it gets you, like, yeah. Going for it. I'm going yeah. No. That's it is my face song. It plays my my my husband even likes it now because it's played so often in the car. He's like, okay. So, yeah, that's my face.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:36:34]:
Good. But do I have advice for
Aicila [00:36:35]:
people? Yeah.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:36:38]:
I do. And I've shared this quite often. Like, you you'll see it. It's it's on my it's on my social media pages and things, but it is give yourself the space and grace to grow and learn. We're humans. We are humans. And it comes from a couple of places. 1, I'm a former marathon, half marathoner, 10 k, 5 k, 15 k.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:37:03]:
All the k's. All the k's.
Aicila [00:37:05]:
All the k's. Okay.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:37:06]:
All the k's. I'm a former runner. I don't run anymore like I used to. But when you're running, it's a single person sport. Now when you're starting, you're like, everybody's passing me out, everybody. And then you soon realize it's not about everybody else. It's about you. It's about you.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:37:22]:
Because you start creating these personal records, and you start collecting, as we like to say, race bling, I. E. Medals. Form a girl scout. We love stickers. We love badges. We love medals. Okay? We will run for the medals and for chocolate and for wine.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:37:39]:
So that's all they all have runs.
Aicila [00:37:42]:
I just I so align with you.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:37:46]:
I know. But You know? Right? But you learn when you do these single person sports. It's about you and your personal records, your PR. It's not about anybody else. If you're 5 seconds faster, great. If you're one second faster, great. But you train for it. You don't try to kill yourself, literally running too fast and and finding the wrong rhythm.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:38:13]:
You practice. You get out there and you practice. You show up for the practices because I've done marathon practices by myself. I've done it with the club, but that's a commitment to today is my 12 mile run. And you're just out there running with your theme music, playing in your playing out there, but you're running. You're like, okay. It's gonna be a great race on Saturday. It's gonna be a great race.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:38:39]:
It's gonna be I'm gonna get my next PR. I'm gonna get and and you find yourself going for the gusto. Now there are pace runners on these races, typically half marathons and marathons, which means you may have a person that inspires you or someone that you admire. You don't wanna duplicate what they're doing, but you're watching them and you love to see what they're doing. You're like, oh my god. She's she's she's killing it. He's killing it. They're doing all the things.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:39:11]:
I'm so excited. They just inspire you to keep going for something more. Not duplicating. Right?
Aicila [00:39:18]:
Right.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:39:19]:
Not trying to be the same, but they inspire and says, you know what? Maybe I should go for x y z. Maybe I should go past the 5 k and do the 10 k. I I can do it. I can do this too. I can do it. Mhmm. Those kinds of things keep you focused. So when I'm doing stuff, I keep in mind and I got this because I did I did a 10 k.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:39:42]:
Nope. I did a half marathon in Waco, and I crossed the finish line. I'm getting my medal. I'm catching my breath. I'm like, oh, got it done. Lady says, I was trying to keep up with you the entire race. And I was like, wait, what? I was hurt, as we call. Everybody has a rabbit.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:39:59]:
Somebody who wants to you're like, I don't have to keep them, but if I could just stay close, I know I'm gonna meet my PR, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I've been watching you the entire time, and I've seen you at other races. And I was like, somebody's watching. Somebody's always watching you. Now you're not doing what you're doing to be watched. Right? To meet someone's expectations. You're doing it for you.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:40:24]:
Plain as Right. But give yourself, 1, the space to do it. Go out on a limb. Take a chance. Like, what's the best thing that can happen?
Aicila [00:40:36]:
I love that question.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:40:37]:
What's the best thing? Not what's the worst. What's the best thing that can happen? You make more connections. People invite you to their podcast. Hello, world. Hello. Good to see all of you. Right? You write a book. You get a book deal.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:40:51]:
Who knows? Like, all these things could happen if you just do one more thing. Right? The other part is graciousness. And sometimes the the the words we say to ourselves, that inside voice, girl. Yeah. We have said some things. We used to say some things. We don't anymore. Now I will find myself saying, Gwendolyn, Renee, Houston, Jack, get it together.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:41:17]:
I will say that, but that's about as good as it gets. We don't do the, you're ridiculous. You're stupid. I knew it went like, we don't do that. That's no. No. No. No.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:41:25]:
No. No. No. No. We only have gracious, loving words on this side. Girl, if I met you a badass. I said, yes. I know.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:41:35]:
Tell me again. Well, and Graciousness.
Aicila [00:41:42]:
You we so Gwenselin and I are both in a group with Peggy McArthur. She's actually the person that introduced us, and she has a swear jar in her community. And her swear jar is not for typical swear words. It's for things like saying you're stupid. And I both I love it. And, I mean, I haven't called out more than once. And then after I've been in a a couple of group meetings, I'll be going around the house and I'll say something. Oh, that was dumb.
Aicila [00:42:11]:
And I'm like, oh, I gotta put money in the swear jar. And I'm like, there's no swear jar here. What are you doing? You're infecting me with your goodness. But it's it's true. What we say to ourselves matters. I'm gonna put a plug for a book I read in January called The Experience Machine where they talk about we are essentially self fulfilling prophecies as people. So if if you can shift and I know for those of you who who fought the affirmation wave, you gotta surrender. You gotta surrender because it's actually real.
Aicila [00:42:44]:
It's all these people knew what they were talking about, and it makes a difference. If you set up in the morning and you say, I am, you know, powerful, creative, capable, I know how to address the things that are coming at me and deal with the things that I don't understand. Whatever that is, you are a self fulfilling prophecy. And the likelihood that you will achieve the things that you are most interested in achieving and be the person that you want to be increases multiple amounts
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:43:15]:
Yes.
Aicila [00:43:16]:
By standing in those words. And it's not this secret. It's not like you aren't doing work. It's that the way our brains work, we actually will trigger actions to fulfill those statements.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:43:29]:
Yes. We do.
Aicila [00:43:31]:
It's how we do.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:43:32]:
It's it's it is a way of thinking. It's a way of learning. And like like any like any old dog, we can learn new tricks. You can learn new tricks. You can move.
Aicila [00:43:42]:
I am. I'm working on it. I'm really working on it.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:43:44]:
You can.
Aicila [00:43:45]:
I just had that skepticism, and it didn't serve me. So those of you who are like, I'm not a, you know, blah blah blah. I'm a realist. Maybe you are, maybe you weren't If you were you know? I am a realist. And I'm not saying, you know, trust but verify, all that, but, like, the
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:44:00]:
realist, really. I remember trust but verify. It's okay. So you can have both. You can you can still have both. I am a realist. I do believe I set when I set goals for myself, and I ask myself, have you done everything you could possibly do to make this successful? And if I say no, it's like, let me get back there. If I choose not to do it, I am clear as like because I just don't feel like doing it.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:44:26]:
And I'm clear. I I'm like, you know what? I will hold myself accountable, which I do. I'm like, Gwendolyn, don't feel like doing it. We ain't doing it. They're like, okay. Well, then we're not doing it. Now I I know I'm talking to, like, plural and stuff. Work with it.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:44:38]:
Okay? All of the geniuses speak like this. So just ride with it. But this this it does it does work. It does change how you see the world. It does change how you go into rooms. People like, how do you walk into the room with so much confidence and and faith? Because, hello? Have you seen me? And I'm like, oh, that's Legit. Now granted, I get it. We come from a generation where you don't brag.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:45:07]:
You don't boast. You don't toot your own horn. You don't do all these things, and then you wait for somebody to do it for you. And it's like, ain't nobody got time for that. Ain't nobody got time for that. Like like, those days are over. They are over, and they are highly over. That? They're over.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:45:19]:
They don't even got time for that. No. That's funny. But there is there is so much more that we are capable of. We we are we have so many gifts. So many gifts. Have fun with it is what I say. Go out there and have fun with it.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:45:37]:
There you go. Love that. There you go.
Aicila [00:45:39]:
Yes. So what so I'm confident everyone's gonna wanna know, know more, learn more. I'm gonna put your social media handles and links in the show notes so people have easy access to that. Any any other good ways, like, things that you recommend for people that wanna get in touch, recommend you to a friend, hire you themselves? Like, how do they how do they connect?
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:46:04]:
The best place I don't even know why I said don't say as people say in speech class. The best way to connect is on LinkedIn. Right? That's a great way to connect. And the other best place would be Instagram. Now I will say this. I am true to my word. If you reach out to me, I will talk to you. I will talk to you.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:46:25]:
Like, I don't have this whole deal of, she gonna call me? Is she gonna yes. Yes. I'm gonna see you, and then, like, can we can we sit and chat for a little bit? Because we're connected, but I don't really know you. I want to get to know you. I want to absolutely get a chance to talk to you through phone calls, through a virtual chat. So I actually do that, which was some people's like, oh my gosh. She's actually talking to people. Yes.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:46:47]:
People connecting means talking to other people. Okay. Not just collecting numbers on some screen. But, yes, LinkedIn and Instagram. Instagram is I'm under black power bunny. I'm not I don't I don't have my legal name. I think it is there. I think it's there, but it's black power bunny.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:47:06]:
That's my handle.
Aicila [00:47:07]:
That's great. I love that handle.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:47:09]:
Yes. Yeah. But it's
Aicila [00:47:12]:
it's it's the it's it's all of it. And you're I'd say you're the whole package,
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:47:18]:
and and
Aicila [00:47:21]:
that's a great and and that's a someone was there was this I think it was a TikTok person. They were like, you're the whole package. You just not might not be at the right address. And I was like, that's it. I am the whole package, and I I'm looking for the right addresses that I, you know, that are looking for that package because it's I think that's so important that we have to be that fullness. Mhmm. And sometimes that means, like you were saying, whether it's business or personal, that address may not be the right place. It's okay.
Aicila [00:47:46]:
There's nothing right. It doesn't mean anything bad about them or you. I feel like to go back full circle, you're talking about the communication, learning to recognize that not being the right fit is is a value neutral. There's there's no there's no bad there. It's it's simply the way it is. There's 8,000,000,000 people on the planet. You don't wanna fit with anyone every way. You'd be exhausted, never sleep.
Aicila [00:48:09]:
Right?
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:48:09]:
It it's it's people see it as as a failure. It's not a failure. If you really are about serving other people. Right? If you're about serving other people, you are going to know would say, you know what? This is not working for you, and therefore I need to get you the right person. I'm a photographer as well. And I've had people where I'm thinking this is not going to work out. Let me go ahead and recommend you to some of my fellow photographers who do x y z because that's gonna be the I'm I'm a handful. Actually, I'm a couple of handfuls, like a barrel, a bushel, a bucket, a galvanized tub.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:48:47]:
I have a tub. A galvanized tub. So there's there's a lot. I have high energy from the from the moment I get up until, like, late night, and that's without I don't do, like, coffee and stuff. I just do, like, water. So even without anything, this is this is who you're dealing with.
Aicila [00:49:04]:
It can be a
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:49:04]:
bit much for some people. And I'm fully aware of that. And I tell people, look, we may not be the best fit. Now can I tone it? I can always meet my audience where they are, but I also know that when I'm coming in, I'm coming in. I'm kicking down doors. Like, I don't come in like what is that? Is it April May, like, come in like the lamb and lead like the lamb? What was that?
Aicila [00:49:28]:
All Yeah. It's April
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:49:31]:
April showers. Right?
Aicila [00:49:33]:
No. It's March comes in like a lion and leaves like a lamb. There
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:49:35]:
we go. I know it's one of them. I know it's one of them. Yep. Yeah.
Aicila [00:49:41]:
It's the things our grandma's taught us. Oh my goodness. Well, thank you so much for giving me your time. I appreciate you beyond.
Gwendolyn R. Houston-Jack [00:49:50]:
Thank you for having me.
Aicila [00:49:51]:
I thought so. Yeah. Me too. I appreciate it. Thanks everybody for listening, and make sure you go follow black power bunny, and make sure you're ready for the whole package because it is 100% worth it.
