The Right Chemicals

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In. Out. In. Out. This steady rhythm beats behind every movement in our world. Some fires burn the air away and then we choke on our own expectations. I don't know all the fires in my belly, my mind, my past, but that doesn't mean they don't burn me when I get distracted. There is a balance in life that paces itself to the steady in out of our breathe. When I lose touch with that balance, I feel the wobbly-ness all the way to my toes. It's not like drowning, there is none of the peaceful feelings I've heard are part of breathing the wrong mixture of chemicals into my lungs. A little less O and a little more H and suddenly what gives me life, slowly smothers it. There might be a lesson there, in the details. Put the wrong things together and they are bound to cause trouble. Maybe that's what I did, when I walked into your life, but really all I wanted was to find another touch stone in this chaos. To be another touch stone in this chaos. But all the fear we thought was behind us welled up. In. Out. And my lungs were slowly filled with something I could neither process nor expel.