We Send Spaceships, We Fall in Love

I tripped on love and broke my nose or maybe it was my heart. When it’s all so connected, it’s hard to tell which is the thing that is causing the pain. A friend of mine is having tooth surgery and learned the pain of the one tooth is actually mimicked by the surrounding teeth. So my teeth and my heart have that in common, they cause phantom pain in the surrounding tissue.

I spent the morning looking for images to give to a friend to work on my BiCurean project. This image has nothing to do with my project and everything to do my current state of being. Is there such a thing as a heart canal? Rip the root out and cap it off so the infection doesn’t spread any further? Maybe I should just dress in black and nail my hand to my forehead, that wouldn’t be more ridiculous.

Watching the excitement over Mars Curiosity Landing and thinking about what I want to do with this BiCurean project, with my life. The probability of separate worlds meeting is very small. The lure of it is immense. I find it amazing we can land on a planet 225 million km away but most of us don’t know how to talk to the people we love. I think it’s because I get distracted by the distance between us. I see the gaps in between, instead of the points of connection. Maybe I lack faith. It takes a lot of faith to launch something into space and believe it will travel over 140 million miles to land exactly where you planned. I believe in that. But somehow I don’t know how to believe in ebb and flow of love.

My mom is in the hospital again. Her back keeps breaking, they say she has osteoporosis and her bones are just too weak. So she turns wrong in bed and has surgery. I ache for her. We aren’t close, but I am still in her surrounding tissue.