Just a Number


My grandmother used to say getting older beats the alternative. She lived to be 87. She was independent and vibrant, mentally and physically, until the very end of her life. And yet culturally we have so many ideas about aging that make my grandmother's story seem anomalous. Is it?

Transcript available here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vS6UY1EtpADgTpW4koZC7tVHwoMehiQacvDhqmsTH5TJIbWrYOYeak28KG74bl0q78iCEOrWJSmh1Cu/pub

Articles and other items we references for this episode:

Attitudes about Aging_ A Global Perspective _ Pew Research Center, Jan 13, 2014

Discrimination and negative attitudes about ageing are bad for your health, Sept 28, 2016

Improving Attitudes Regarding the Elderly Population _ The Gerontologist _ Oxford Academic, Aug 2001

Thinking Differently About Aging_ Changing Attitudes Through the Humanities _ The Gerontologist _ Oxford Academic, Aug 2015

American Attitudes Toward the Elderly, from Life in the USA_ The Complete Guide for Immigrants and Americans

7 Cultures That Celebrate Aging And Respect Their Elders _ HuffPost, Feb 25, 2014

How Do Different Cultures Take Care of Seniors_, Oct 10, 2016

What it’s like to grow old, in different parts of the world _ TED Blog, Nov 25, 2013

Growing Old in Ancient Cultures _ Psychology Today, Mar 22, 2017

Communication, Aging, and Culture - Oxford Research Encyclopedia of Communication, Sept 2017

Teenagers_ A 1944 Photo Essay on a New American Phenomenon _ Time.com, Sep 28, 2013

Why Young People Need To Look At Older People Differently, Jan 21, 2016

Changing the Narrative

Ideas for Kids to Dress Up Like Old People

This Chair Rocks

Hidden Brain: What Our Google Searches Reveal About Who We Really Are

Implicit Bias Test

To Bi or Not to Bi

A new study claims all women are bisexual, so we had to look into that a little more.

Do bisexual people exist, is everyone bisexual? A study was recently released that claimed all women are bisexual. This led to some questions and lots of reading and then more questions.

Transcript at https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vQiddELx7zOiTKH_rc1LTxtipIAykF7nemoc6gAZ5Ap0t6R9VKfL0XCY24Ex5zgUbUoxCdRrwXfFMc1/pub

Articles and Books We Referenced for This Episode:

More Bisexual Women_ Think Again. _ Psychology Today, Jan 30, 2017

Women are either bisexual or gay but 'never straight' - Telegraph, Nov 5, 2015

We’re all bisexual, study claims, Mar 15, 2018

Women’s sexuality ‘can change throughout life’ several times — and this could explain why women like Miley Cyrus have dated men and women, Oct 14, 2017

Study Claims Women Are Bisexual Because It Turns Men On _ NewNowNext, May 25, 2017

Why I’m Not Buying This Study That Claims All Women Are a Little Gay, Nov 6, 2015

What Women Want (Maybe) - The New York Times,Jun 12, 2008

3 Myths About Bisexuality, Debunked by Science _ Psychology Today, May 22, 2014

Is Bisexual Identity a Useful Fiction? Slate, Mar 21, 2014

The Scientific Quest to Prove Bisexuality Exists - The New York Times, Mar 20, 2014

Movement Advancement Project _ New Report_ Bisexual People Face Invisibility, Isolation, and Shocking Rates of Discrimination and Violence, Sep 27, 2016

Meghan Markle On Her Biracial Identity - Actress Meghan Markle Discusses Being Half Black Half White, Dec 22, 2016

The Equal Rights Amendment Was Just Ratified by Illinois. What Does That Mean_ - The New York Times, May 31, 2018

How the dazzling, overstuffed ‘Incredibles 2’ holds up a cracked mirror to present-day reality, Jul 4, 2018



Faithfully Yours


BiCurean started for me as a conscious concept when I was working in the LGBT community. In my own journey, coming out as a person of faith created what felt like an impossible choice. I could either leave my faith, which I chose at the age of 13 when I converted to Mormonism. Or I could ignore the way I felt about the woman that I loved. I spent months agonizingly trying to sort out how to be myself in this world in which my love and my faith were at odds. My friends, mostly faithful Mormons, were loving and supportive and (for the most part) horrified that I would even consider leaving the faith to be with a woman. I eventually did choose to honor my love for the woman I fell for and leave the church I had chosen as my home. It was a painful and confusing experience. 

When I started working at the Rainbow Center in Tacoma, WA, I ran into more people facing a similar challenge. People who identified as devoutly Christian for the most part feeling like they could live celibate lives alone or they could have partnership and love and lose the faith that called to them. At the time the LGBT community was also very rejecting of people who were gay and also maintained their Christian faith. Neither community was open to a world in which these things co-exist comfortably. I realized I wanted a world in which these arbitrary contradictions were no longer enforced but instead embraced. And the concept of BiCurean was created. 

I imagine a world in which people celebrate their inner inconsistencies. Where we embrace our weirdness and we accept ourselves as the dynamic creatures of change and curiosity we are capable of being. I believe there will be less pain in the world if more people can face their own confusing messiness. 

So join me in the #BiCurean movement. Notice your own BiCurean moments. The things that don't fit neatly into a marketing package and yet are still true.


Watch Your Phraseology

Why I Canvassed for Jared Polis


I first met Jared while working for Out Boulder. His husband, Marlon, was on our board when I was first hired. Marlon was a hard working board member with a generous heart. I was raised lower class so my experience of wealthy people was limited and I definitely had pre- judgments. Meeting Marlon and getting to know him was my first indicator that my pre-conceived notions about wealthy people were unfounded and unfair. 

One of the things I learned to appreciate about Jared is his practicality. I believe we share similar values. And where we differ, I respect his willingness to listen. I respect that even when pushed hard, he won't commit to things he doesn't think are achievable or practical. I appreciate that he shows up at things like the Peach Festival in Lafayette, the Women's March, and Pride. 

I'm tired of what I am calling "social purity". This idea that a candidate has to be somehow super human. I was an Obama fan, like many of us progressives, and I don't kid myself that he was somehow a perfect human. I am sure the inevitable expose biography will be full of things we wish weren't true. And he did good work that did good things for a lot of people. He also did things I didn't love and with which I disagreed. 

Polis isn't perfect. We don't see eye-to-eye on all policies. And he is upfront about what he stands for. He is willing to face his failures head on and be accountable. He gives it his all when he cares. He will listen to people who disagree with him, respectfully. And he is human, so I am sure people have experienced him making errors in every category. I am not sure when good leader and no errors became synonymous. 

I will be back out there, knocking on doors, having conversations with people about why I support Jared. 

Tribal Rights

June 28, 1969, the Stonewall riots happened and kicked off the modern LGBT movement. Pridefest, which just happened in Denver, happens across the country in honor of those folks who said no. Today we live in a world full of identity politics and there are some questions as to how that benefits and harms us a nation. Erik and Aicila spent some time looking into identity politics and how it shows up today.

Read More

Podcasting Takes a Lot of Time


I have been neglecting my blog for a few months. It turns out a podcast takes a bit of time. And now that we've added transcription to it, even more. And digging into the topics and figuring how to make them somewhat coherent and (hopefully) interesting, takes even more. Every week I promise myself I will write a blog. And every week, I manage to wriggle out of it. I have a lot of ideas for topics: Adult Children; Changing Relationships; Why I Support Jared Polis; Navigating the Health System. They swim in my brain and on post-it notes, with supporting links, like neglected children while I focus on podcast topics, many of which lead to dead ends. There are lots of things that simply don't have enough depth to them to be able to hold a 30 minute conversation on. 

I think I will have to change how I blog since in a lot of ways the style of blogging I was doing was reflective of the kind of podcast I wanted to do. So for the 5 of you that read this, I apologize for disappearing. 

What's with Millennials?

Ageism is frequently viewed from the perspective of how we treat older people. It is, however, far more wide reaching and complex. In this episode Erik and Aicila explore the question of Millenials and how they are perceived.

Transcript link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sGpYxoOUFD7vTxbgl5Nisi4vSeJLC6iGgiJxPPwhYgE/edit?usp=sharing